Monday, June 1, 2009

You know you have Endo when...

Collected from Endo Resolve!

1. You have been complaining of abnormal periods since the age of 15 and all the doctors say is 'get pregnant it'll clear up'

2. A friend tells you ' you can't have endo because you'd be in much worse pain that that'

3. You look permanently pregnant

4. You end up passing out with pain because you can't take painkillers at work

5. When you do eventually get a doctor to do an laparascopy, he finally believes you- and then tells you it's Stage 4 and you'll never get pregnant or carry to term. And then he tells you at age 27 (in my personal case, he told me this at 23), it's better to have a hysterectomy

6. Your purse sounds like a shaker because you carry so many bottles of pain medication ....

7. Your friends can always count on you for a fix when they have a bad headache.....

8. You think maternity clothes look comfortable....

9. Your co-workers have caught you sitting at your desk with the button on your pants undone....

10. You practice breathing exercises while driving ( similar to lamaze)....

11. Your boss has caught you with your head on your desk ... and you told him to "Get Lost" ....

12. You wear pajamas at all times of the day.

13. Tylenol doesn't work.

14. All of your other problems pale in comparison to the pain.

15. Everyone's problems pale in comparison to the pain.

16. You have three mood settings: happy, sad and angry.

17. You stole your grandma's muumuus, so you could wear them. (true story)

18. You laugh when your doctor tells you to take pain meds before the pain begins. Seriously I should just make them into a candy necklace.

19. You start getting pissed at the pregnant patients in the waiting room at the OB/GYN.

20. You tell your doctor you have been bleeding constantly from the Provera and they say, "yeah spotting can happen."

21. When you don't do anything fun on a "good" day, and you know you will feel horrible on the day you have plans

22. You start debating treatments from the potential side effects.

23. You buy all of your underwear, pants, and shorts two sizes two big and make sure they don't have clunky waistbands

24. You can function on pain levels that most people can't imagine

25. You laugh when someone tells you to take ibuprofen or midol because M&M's are just as effective

26. You rent an apartment or buy a house specifically because it has a bathtub rather than a shower

27. If one more person tells you that "It's just a little bit of cramping" you're going to cry...right after you disembowel them

28. You're on medications that were actually developed for cancer patients and that doesn't phase you

29. As your fertility is questioned, you suddenly want to have kids more than ever.

30. You are familiar with the "Recovery Position" because that is how you sleep every night

31. None of your clothes fit because your weight yo-yos so much from the drugs, bloating, and from being to sick to eat

32. You think that the medical profession is a joke after the hell they've put you through

33. Your local pharmacist greets you by name when you walk in the door

34. Your doctor no longer asks "how are you?" just "what shall we try this time"

35. You are more comfortable talking about bowel issues than you ever thought you would be

36. Your severe pelvic pain is diagnosed as PID... But you're still a virgin.

37. You have no sympathy for women approaching menopause. You did all that after your last op at 23 and had 5 years worth of menopause crammed into 6 months. And you have never looked the same.

38. When you wish your husband's penis was smaller...

39. When your medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy

40. You carry pain killers with you EVERYWHERE

41. You laugh when people tell you they have advil if you need it

42. You can't stop buying sweatpants

43. Your coworkers can count on you for drugs, tens units and heating pads

44. You dont dare take all of your vacation days at once

45. You trade getting fat for trying to get rid of your pain

46. You wonder whats going on when your not curled in fetal position on the floor and think maybe you should see a doctor

47. You've been through more doctors than you have fingers

48. Having surgery is no longer a big deal, you're a pro

49. You've researched getting a lower body transplant

50. You want to smack someone when they say, "ugh, I have the worse cramps ever."

1 comment:

  1. I can't decide if I should laugh or cry, that I related to so many of those statements... :)